Funny Creative Writing Prompt

July 8, 2010 at 6:37 pm (Holidays and Special Events Posts)

This creative writing prompt was sent to me via email today and I just had to share it. This is hilarious…or at least I thought so anyway.

A Creative Writing  professor told his class one day: “Today we will experiment with a  new form called the tandem story. The process is simple. Each  person will pair off with the person sitting next to his or her  desk.

As homework tonight, one of you will write the  first paragraph of a short story. You will e-mail your partner  that paragraph and send another copy to me. The partner will read  the first paragraph and then add another paragraph to the story  and send it back, also sending another copy to me. The first  person will then add a third paragraph, and so on  back-and-forth.

Remember to re-read what has been written  each time in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be  absolutely NO talking outside of the e-mails and anything you wish  to say must be written in the e-mail. The story is over when both  agree a conclusion has been reached.”

The following was  actually turned in by two of his English students:  

Rebecca (PINK)

Bill (BLUE). 

THE STORY: 

(first paragraph by Rebecca)

At first, Laurie  couldn’t decide which kind of tea she wanted. The chamomile, which  used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded  her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he  liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her  mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she  thought about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So  chamomile was out of the question.

(second paragraph by Bill)

Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl  Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4,  had more important things to think about than the neuroses of an  air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent one  sweaty night over a  year ago. “A.S. Harris to Geostation  17,” he said into his transgalactic communicator. ” Polar orbit  established. No sign of resistance so far…” But before he could  sign off a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted  a hole through his ship’s cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit  sent him flying out of his seat and across the  cockpit.

(Rebecca)

He bumped his head and died almost  immediately, but not before he felt one last pang of regret for  psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feelings  for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its  pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4.  “Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel,”  Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news simultaneously  excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of  her youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly and carefree, with  no newspaper to read, no television to distract her from her  sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her.  “Why must one lose one’s innocence to become a woman?” she  pondered wistfully.

(Bill) 

Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to  live. Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu’udrian mothership  launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dimwitted  wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace disarmament  Treaty through the Congress had left Earth a defenseless target  for the hostile alien empires who were determined to destroy  the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty  the Anu’udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough  firepower to pulverize the entire planet. With no one to stop  them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium  fusion missile entered the atmosphere unimpeded.. The President,  in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor  off the coast of Guam , felt the inconceivably massive explosion,  which vaporized even poor, stupid Laurie.

(Rebecca)

This is  absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My  writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic semi-literate  adolescent.

( Bill) 

Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered tedious  neurotic whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of  Valium. ” Oh, shall I have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some  other sort of F–KING TEA??? Oh no, what am I to do? I’m such  an air headed bimbo.  I guess I’ve read too many Danielle  Steele novels!”

(Rebecca)

A$$h@le.

(Bill) 

B*tch!

(Rebecca)

F*** YOU – YOU  NEANDERTHAL!!

(Bill) 

In your dreams, Ho. Go drink some tea.

(TEACHER)

A+- I really  liked this one

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1 Comment

  1. Leigh D'Ansey said,

    LOL!!

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