Jokes about Writing
Ok, so my computer crashed and I have been without it for 10 days and some odd minutes. So, to make me feel better for all my missed oppurtunities to encourage all of you fellow readers and writers, I have compiled a list of jokes about writing. I don’t think I will include any about computers crashing because the horror of it all is still so fresh in my laptop deprived mind.
So, pull up a chair (I know you already have) and get to laughing a little. (If I knew the authors of these jokes they are included, otherwise they are unknown though greatly appreciated)
Joke #1
How many science fiction writers does it take to change a light bulb?
Two, but it’s actually the same person doing it. He went back in time and met himself in the doorway and then the first one sat on the other one’s shoulder so that they were able to reach it. Then a major time paradox occurred and the entire room, light bulb, changer and all was blown out of existence. They co-existed in a parallel universe, though.
How many publishers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Three. One to screw it in. Two to hold down the author.
How many mystery writers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two. One to screw it almost all the way in, and the other to give it a surprising twist at the end.
How many screenwriters does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Why does it *have* to be changed?
How many cover blurb writers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A VAST AND TEEMING HORDE STRETCHING FROM SEA TO SHINING SEA!!!!
Joke #2
Q. If you were lost in the woods, who would you trust for directions: the publisher who prints everything you write, an agent, or Santa Claus?
A. The agent. The other two indicate you are hallucinating.
Joke #3
Three guys are sitting at a bar
#1: “…Yeah, I make $75,000 a year after taxes.”
#2: “What do you do for a living?”
#1: “I’m a stockbroker. How much do you make?
#2: “I should clear $60,000 this year.”
#1: “What do you do?”
#2: “I’m an architect.”
The third guy has been sitting there quietly, staring into his beer, when the others turn to him.
#2: “Hey, how much do you make per year?”
#3: “Gee… hmmm… I guess about $13,000.”
#1: “Oh yeah? What kind of stories do you write?”
Joke #4
A screenwriter comes home to a burned down house. His sobbing and slightly-singed wife is standing outside. “What happened, honey?” the man asks.
“Oh, John, it was terrible,” she weeps. “I was cooking, the phone rang. It was your agent. Because I was on the phone, I didn’t notice the stove was on fire. It went up in second. Everything is gone. I nearly didn’t make it out of the house. Poor Fluffy is–”
“Wait, wait. Back up a minute,” The man says. “My agent called?”
Joke #5
Ode to the Spell Check
Eye halve a spelling chequer
It cam with my pea sea
It plainly marques four my revue
Miss steaks eye kin knot sea.
Eye strike a key and type a word
And weight four it two say
Weather eye am wrong oar write
It shows me strait a weigh.
As soon as a mist ache is maid
It nose bee fore two long
And eye can put the error rite
Its rare lea ever wrong.
Eye have run this poem threw it
I am shore your pleased two no
Its letter perfect awl the weigh
My chequer tolled me sew!
I hope you laughed at one of those jokes at the very least. If not, just smile at the following pictures 🙂
Link to Site it came from.
Amber Hunter said,
August 25, 2010 at 6:50 am
LOL! Thanks for that. 🙂
That’s a better “pick-me-up” than my AM cup of coffee. Perfect way to begin another morning staring at these cold, unfeeling keys.
laughlovewrite said,
August 25, 2010 at 8:22 am
I am glad you liked them Amber. They definitely helped me 🙂